Books Changing Me in 2023

 

I love to read. In 2023, I read 79 books, usually two or three books at a time--audible, digital, and paper. A lot of my reading is just for fun--“going-to-sleep” books, I call them--cozy mysteries and YA books I can read just until my eyes close at night. These don’t ask a lot of me.

 

But every year some books change me. Here are a few that made me want to be better last year, making me want to “Confront My Mortality” and “Do Stuff Anyway.” 

 

Confronting My Mortality

Being Mortal by Atul Gawande was a good reminder of the fragility we nearly all face at the end of life. Gawande, a medical doctor, looks closely at this fragility and how we can better prepare for it, both personally (make good plans) and as a culture (create good places for the fragile elderly). For me, I met with my children to discuss my financial affairs, my passwords, my trust, and--according to Gawande, most important of all--my Living Will. 

 

In The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, Margareta Magnusson, who is Swedish and “between 80 and 100” (her words), takes us along as she considers the accumulations of a long and happy life, reflecting on the memories and the joy, and then passing the possessions on to others. It was a sweet reminder that what matters is not the things we accumulate but our experiences, those we love, and what we learn and become. Now I find I am more willing to let go of stuff.

 

Learning and sharing is the theme of From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life by Arthur C. Brooks. A Harvard professor of Public Leadership, Brooks has written many influential books, including Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth About Compassionate Conservatism and Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt. From Strength to Strength is about recognizing the good older people can still do. Though we may not excel at basketball or high finance, we can share the strengths we have accumulated over a lifetime, strengths of wisdom and understanding. Since reading this one, I’m thinking about what I have yet to contribute, which leads to the next category of influential books—doing stuff. 

 

Doing Stuff

Edmund Morris’s hefty three volume biography of Theodore Roosevelt provides a great model for doing stuff. The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt, the first volume, portrays a brilliant but sickly teen who exercised daily out for hours to overcome his own body. After the tragic death of his first wife, Teddy determined--after one day of tears and despair--to never talk of it again. He went west, bought a ranch in North Dakota, and spent his time hunting, exploring, and writing very successful history books. After his stint as president, Teddy explored the wilds of Africa and the Amazon, nearly dying in the latter attempt. While campaigning for president a second time, he is shot by an assassin, but insists on finishing his speech before being treated. Roosevelt never gave up, and we shouldn’t either. 

 

If Morris provided a role model for doing stuff, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert provides a cheerleader, inciting me to get up and do that thing, whatever it is. There will never be a better time. And if you don’t do it now, someone else will and you will miss your chance. Gilbert knows this is scary stuff, but asks the prime question:“Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?” This one inspired me to start writing my blog again (See The Courage to Bring Forth Treasure).

 

If Elizabeth Gilbert is a cheerleader, Arnold Schwarzenegger is a no-nonsense personal trainer. In Be Useful: Seven Rules for Life, he takes no excuses for wimping out. Just “Work your a** off” and earn what you want. His life is evidence it can be done—a poor Austrian boy becomes a champion bodybuilder, an award-winning actor, and the governor of California. In his stern Austrian accent (you’ve got to listen to the audio book) he seems to shout his main points at you: Work hard! Don’t think like a victim! Listen to good advice! Help others! Be useful! I hear his voice on days I just want to stay in my jammies.

 

Other Books

Other books also changed me. Dinners with Ruth: A Memoir on the Power of Friendships by Nina Totenberg—about the friendship between an NPR journalist and a Supreme Court justice—encouraged me to be more intentional about nurturing friendships. Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It by Kim and Penn Holderness (YouTube influencers and comedians) was both funny and insightful. Now I want to be better at resolving differences not just with my spouse but with friends and family. Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis, by Robert D. Putnam, a prominent sociologist (he wrote Bowling Alone), reveals the appallingly broad divide between classes in America, regardless of race. Reading it made me want to do something to address the problem. 

 

Finally, here’s a book by a good woman about faith: Both Things Are True by Kate Holbrook. The essays in this book were written as Holbrook--a young wife, mother, and scholar --was dying, making her insights especially poignant. Here is my favorite quote: “We find God in doing good for other people. I have learned the most about Jesus when I have tried to do the work of Jesus.” 

 

And thus, we circle back to where we started. Whatever your situation—whether you are tired, busy, inadequate, or getting old--do stuff, do good. 

 

What books changed you in 2023? Please share in the comments; I need more books to read in 2024!