Giving Up on a Dream Can Be a Good Thing

People always say , “Follow your dreams!”  They say, “"Don't give up on your dreams, or your dreams will give up on you." Or "You have to dream before your dreams can come true." 

And, yes, I believe in dreaming and pursuing dreams. But I also believe in choosing your dreams carefully.

Here is a dream I gave up on and I’m glad I did. When I was in college, I loved to dance. I attended my "serious" classes in the morning, took ballet classes all afternoon, and then often had rehearsals through the evening. Ballet was my passion. I would dream about becoming a professional dancer, about moving to San Francisco or New York and devoting myself to dance. 

As I approached graduation with my sensible degree in English teaching, I thought, now's my chance. I'll be a dancer! I'll do it!

I looked into graduate programs in dance. I looked at professional level classes in San Francisco. I argued with my parents.

Then, sitting in the old Joseph Smith Building Auditorium at my graduation convocation exercises, in my cap and gown. I had a revelation. I loved dancing. But I was not a dancer. I started dancing seriously at 18, way too late. Though I had gained a certain competency, I was not that good, even compared to other BYU dancers. No way could I compete nationally, with girls who had been dancing since infancy.

However, I was really good at English. I could make a strong contribution there. That was the area I had prepared for really all my life. And I also loved literature and writing.

So after graduation, still dressed in my cap and gown, I walked across campus to the English Department to ask about being admitted to the English Master's program. They said, sure. And that lead to my beloved career teaching writing. I'm glad I gave up on my dream of being a dancer.

I didn’t really give up on the dream—I changed dreams. And I pursued that new dream.

Dreaming is good—but when you decide to realistically pursue a dream—you need to choose the dream carefully.