When my mother was in her mid 80s, I remember her sitting in her chair in the TV room, knitting while my Dad lay on the couch, watching a basketball game. As I sat with them on an evening visit, she said unexpectedly, “I wish I were 70 again!” My Dad’s interest left the game and turned to her, “Why do you say that, Leah? If you are going to wish to be a different age, why not 30, or 40, or even 25, when you were young and strong?”
Mama went on with her knitting steadily, maybe stopping a minute to count stitches. Then she continued. “No, 70. That was just about the perfect age. The children were raised and well settled in life, I didn’t need to go to work, and I was still healthy enough to do pretty much whatever I wanted to.”
At the time, I thought this was pretty funny, that my mom would see 70 as the ideal age. In my early 50s at the time, I thought 70 was very advanced in age, and certainly not much better than 80.
But now, at 68, I see it. My sister, 10 years older than I, reminded me of how our mother would say this. And now she repeated it: “Remember what mama said. You are approaching the perfect age.”
So here are reasons why I am glad I am just the age I am:
1. As Mama pointed out, I’m old enough not to have to go to work. I get to spend my time doing pretty much whatever I want to do. And if the weather is bad, I can just stay home until the roads are cleared.
2. At the same time, I am young enough that I’m still healthy. I can walk and hike and clean my house and garden. I can travel and I can play with my grandchildren. I can go to the gym every day and lift weights. Pretty much, I feel as active as ever.
3. But I appreciate my health more, knowing that it may not last. As I run up the stairs I’m thankful for my knees because I know they won’t always work this well. As I race to catch a bus I rejoice that I can.
4. I am even more thankful for my husband. Someone once told me that in midlife everyone gets a little frustrated with their spouses, but if you wait a few years they begin to look better. It’s true: foibles and shortcomings have become endearing. Strengths and kindnesses are even better appreciated, especially when I look around at so many of my friends who have lost their husbands already.
5. My children are adults, well settled in life. I don’t feel responsible for them, so I can enjoy them as friends. We can chat on the phone and laugh over funny stories. They even give me advice which makes my life better. It’s also kind of nice to be old enough they are beginning to feel like they need to look after me a little. It’s a nice payback, when they give me a new electronic device and say, “Don’t worry, Mom, I’ll set it up for you!”
6. I have friends I cherish—friends who have known me for decades and yet still like me. We have seen each other through hard times and good times. We care deeply for each other and help each other through whatever we face.
7. I also have friends much younger than I. They probably see me as old, but I feel like I am just their age, maybe because I hold that age within me. Having younger friends makes me feel young.
8. I’m thankful for a challenging career and for all I learned from that satisfying work. I’m especially thankful for former students and colleagues who have stayed friends.
9. I have the perspective of years. I know that hard things will pass.
10. And I know the importance of savoring the good moments.
11. I have tested the promises of the Savior and know He really does help us get through hard times.
12. I know that, with the Savior’s help, the hard times are what made the best parts of me.
13. At this point, I’m willing to recognize what I do well and understand my responsibility to foster and share those talents.
14. I also don’t compare myself with others so much. I’ve lived long enough to know that we all have different strengths. I am glad for others’ strengths; I am blessed by them. I am glad for my own strengths; I can bless others with them. It’s a great system.
15. I also see clearly where I need to improve, and I am grateful to have time to do that—all eternity in fact.
I am just the right age--and probably this is true at every age-- to flourish and learn, still young in the eternal sense, but growing.
